Words with friends

here we are at a bar, which is an environment I could have benefitted from after my day today.

Do people ever make jerk comments to you? Tell me I'm not the only one. The other day I had to print out a bunch of stuff for necessary paperwork and my (snarky, pain in the butt) assistant said snidely: "look at all those dead trees." I feel like saying, look - first of all, you need to take a run around the block because your type II diabetes is costing us all a fortune. second of all, its not like I killed them. and besides the point, this is for work, the concept of which I realize is quite difficult for you to relate.

I don't know how to deal with jerk comments, but I wish I was wittier on the spot and could say things that tell the offender not to mess with me. all without raising my voice and getting in trouble, of course.

I should also say its not that I don't like my assistants. I love all but two of them, and working in two offices I get to work with many different people. I also have no control over hiring and firing, and in one office it is controlled by a central office which is pretty far removed from us. Ideally I wouldn't say anything except "unfortunately, today is your last day."

this particular assistant knows she can get away with just about anything. I feel I should point out that generally don't think I'm smarter and better than anyone else who says stupid things on purpose (although this assistant pushes that statement) its a basic respect for another person, you don't have to be a genius to possess that quality.

I worry about getting in trouble and I try not to offend people - although I'm sure I do. I have a couple of friends who I'm lucky still talk to me because its like I'm always saying something wrong, so I empathize, but sometimes I can tell these people aren't making similar efforts.

Its not just assistants, but friends and strangers too seem to say stuff that's amazing. For instance  someone I just met recently said to me "Oh you're a dentist! My dentist growing up had a nervous breakdown. I think he went crazy in a grocery store parking lot." Like, do you really think that's a conversation starter?

Am I just in a bad mood? Or is it just that I had to work with an assistant who drives me up the wall today? I'm going to make a skinnygirl margarita  (thank you bethenny frankel for your genius,) and watch law and order criminal intent reruns before I go to bed.